It’s interesting as you keep quiet and just watch rooms and other site owners at how much you can learn just by listening. And from what I can see, hear and read there seems to be a group of bullies in TE land.
I don’t know about you but I was always taught ye without sin cast the first stone and I really don’t know what give some owners and admins the right to think that they know everything there is to know and that their way it the “only” way.
Personally, I would like to pat everyone on the back that is trying to learn and earn online whether it’s by surfing or by being a site owner. With all the TE’s out there – yes we do compete with each other but does that give a certain few to get in a public room and put others down.
Again, I was taught that if you don’t have anything nice to say – then don’t say anything.AND then you wonder why there is so much negativity in the TE World – why so many say TE’s don’t work – maybe the next time you are pointing your finger at someone you should be reminded of the ones that pointing back at yourself.
Also, while I’m a little rant here getting things off my chest, another thing I was taught was you should never speak badly about anyone until you have walked in their shoes. What happened in this world to helping others, being there for someone if they need help and turning the other cheek when needed.
It just seems that some like to forget how it was when they started and all the mistakes that they made but I don’t recall a group of bullies talking about it in a public room. Back years ago, you went to that person in private and aired out your differences.
Call me old fashion, old school or just plain old but I am also one that believes what goes around comes around – so people should watch what they say, how they treat people and don’t always think that your way is the right way.
You will see many successful owners that would never do that in public and I would like to pat them on the back – there is a time and place for everything you do and talking about others in a public room is NOT the time and place – JMO
So for all the bullies in TE Land, I hope that you start thinking twice before you know everything about everything. AND I would like to applaud all the owners and surfers that don’t pay them any mind and do it “YOUR WAY” Kudos for you, you hold your head high keep on doing it and I will end with a song from the “King”
When I saw Elvis I thought for sure it would be “Don’t be cruel”, but this song fits too. Right On Nancy, I was raised the same way, if you don’t have anything nice to say…. Unless what someone says is just so ridiculous that you can’t help but make fun of them in private. Doing so in public is just a lack of class.
Thanks Jon and you are right that would have been a good one to add also.
Nancy for once i dont have any words which as most know is a Very Very Rare thing with me. Not only have you stepped up as a leader in this industry to say “NO! Dont! STOP! This Is Not Right!” for others but you have also done it as a personal friend to me and I am speechless not only with what you have posted here but with how you DID Turn the other cheek when I lashed out at you and turned around and offered me help, support and understanding instead of getting mad at me (which you had every right to do). Since I cant really see what Im typing here please excuse any typos as I have had to take off my glasses in order to wipe the tears of joy, love, happiness, remembrance, sadness but most of all Thankfulness for my Wonderful Family Online. We have known each other many years and well you hit the mark with this one not only with your written words but also with your timing and then you topped it off with a song you could Never Have Known what it means to me. It is now 45 Minutes until my late husband, Brian Towne, 50th Birthday. I was sitting her waiting till midnight talking to him in my head reminding myself of things he taught me, standing my ground, being strong, defend the weak, love each other, and never ever ever Give Up. But MAN! for you to pick not only a Song from his Life Time Favorite Singer but the one song he always told me to Remember. WOW!!!!!!!!!!
Your something else I love you very much and Im Soooo glad your in my life. Im going to listen to the song and go to bed.
Cause Tomorrow Im gonna Get Up and Keep Doing What Brian GAVE Me the Strength in Life To DO and that is DOING IT MY WAY!!!!!
WOWWWWWWW that was awesome and never realized the timing of all this – strange as I was going to write this last week and even tonight I’m so tired can hardly keep my eyes open and thought just do it. Oh you have been a dear friend too many years Kaye and I know how things can get to a person. You just keep being you as that is who we all love and appreciate.
I totally agree with everything said and it really needs to be said NOW. There are too many emails being set out filled with negative comments about other sites and other te owners. In my opinion, that does not speak well of the person (BULLY) sending the emails. Instead of the negativity, the BULLY needs to remember from whence they started and offer guidance in a positive way. Anyone doing this definitely has no class and not one ounce of professionalism. Everyone who launches a traffic exchange has to start from someplace; not everyone is an expert, but why can’t anyone try their hand at being a te owner if that is their choice. I am not a professional te owner and never have portrayed that. I am learning every day and I thank God for those te owners who help me along the way. Obviously the bullies have gotten so BIG along the way, their objective is to tear down anybody else who tries to build a successful traffic exchange. BULLIES BEWARE. There is no place in TE LAND for this type of negative behavior.
Awesome Mary and I agree with everything that you said and thanks for the comments
*Standing Ovation*
Nancy,
You have always held my admiration and have always struck me as someone that regardless of whatever road blocks come your way, you will, and do, do the damn thing. It’s strong women like us, who continue to do what we do, day in and day out; offering help, coaching others, learning whatever our minds will consume, taking advice, giving advice, and having open minds to new idea’s and concepts that keeps us honest and loving.
I remember a time when “THEY” use to push the “Anyone can own their own business” concept via their site… oh, wait, they still do that. Because, hypocrites they may be, the whole concept of their business module is that you CAN do what THEY do. So why get pissed when you do it? Hypocrites. I don’t attend the church down the road because it’s full of them, and I definitely won’t be listening to any more of their false prophets either. They wronged the wrong group of gals this time IMO and well, I don’t think they banked on anyone speaking up. Thing is, I’ve been around for a LONG time. The people who KNOW me, know I am not a vindictive person. Know I stand on integrity, know that I am as helpful and honest as the day is long. They don’t think people will lash out at them for fear that in the process, they may get shunned. Well, here is my thought, SHUN ME. The world is a big and mighty place and I have all the time that there is left for me in the world to let others know they are not good people. And NO, by speaking out, I may or may not hurt their business, but at least I know that I can honestly say I was 1000% in their court and when they were rude and dishonest and I called them on it, they deleted me from all of the six programs I belonged to in their network. VERY unprofessional!
Anyways, lmao… I digress. Kudo’s beautiful. I love what you said.
Jenny
well it’s is interesting some things change and some don’t – thanks again for the comment
Nancy you are a class act all the way 🙂
Thanks Glen and thanks for the comment – always a pleasure working with you
Hiya Nancy 🙂
I’ve been out of the ‘Loop’ since my skype went crazy so I don’t know what’s been going on in this particular instance but I do know that we have some “Cyber Bullies” around.
Any kind of bullying is just plain Wrong and eventually what goes around comes around…
I just wanted to say that you wrote a Great piece here with Time Honored & Fantastic Advice. I do hope that more people will Remember it & start living by it…. I grew up with it & have tried to never lose site of it tho Sometimes…. LOL
You topped off your Great Post with possibly ‘The’ most appropriate song…. I’ve never seen Sooooo much Individuality in businesses as I have seen in TE Land with every owner doing things ‘Their Way’ and I Love It!!
The Diversity here is what makes Each TE different from the others & HERE???
Different is GOOD!! 🙂
Thanks Nancy 🙂
Oh thanks Patti and so nice to see you – miss you on Skype. Yes I agree I love the diversity also and I don’t feel there is a right way or wrong way and each owner should have the choice of what they are going to do and run their site without a few of “know it alls” making fun of them – that is how we learn and believe me I learn daily – thanks for your comment.
Thanks Nancy for sharing this with us. I totally agree of all what you have written. I am always there to put hands together as owners. That is one of the reasons i like the promo i do every saturday and it is one of the reasons it is named and made like that. No matter what sites take part of it, i am already glad they do. And so far all that have joined are great. I am sure we can grow and learn from each other. Let’s put those Hands together!
Oh I agree Marcel – with so many TE’s out there – you can be competitive and everyone do their “own” thing without thinking that you are the “TE God” and you know everything there is to know – even the ones that think they are TE God started with one members and if most will think back they made plenty of mistakes – thank goodness they had mentors that helped them thru it – that is what we all should be doing and not putting others down for trying and making mistakes. Thanks for the comment.
Nancy, Absolutely amazing! I would like to applaud you for a wonderful written blog. You are a true woman,every sense of the word, holding firm to your beliefs, and never once did you mention a name or site. I have not known you for very long, but I have learned that you are a wonderful lady, that many could learn from. Your values are strong, and you have great qualities about you! As far as being “old fashion”, I feel the world needs more “old Fashion” in it. It would be a better world! Then maybe there wouldn’t be a need for such blogs!
Thanks for sharing this blog. Perhaps all the bullies in TE Land will take the time to read it !
Thanks Tina and you know I feel honored to be call old fashioned, old school as it means that I have some of the morals that we all use to have. When I see these other people being “bullies” it just makes loose any respect for them. Another thing that has been lost – you can be competitors but you also can be respectable also – there are a lot of people that make mistakes – they don’t need to be put down in public rooms – they need support from their peers. Thanks for stopping by Tina
All mentioned above is awesome! Let us treat the other one’s like you would like to be treated :-). Let us make LOVE not WAR 🙂
If there are different opinions, that is not wrong but try to work things out privately and do not make things public! In other words: solve differences in an adult way:-)
Thanks Jo and I agree – before you publicly say anything about anyone – you should ask yourself how would that make you feel if someone was doing that to you – thanks for the comment Jo
Hi Nancy, I like your way of thinking and agree that the bullying element needs to “shape up or ship out”. As a new TE Owner I have received much help and advice from helpful and well meaning TE Owners. I’ve also received the occasional “rant help” where an individual denigrates another TE or owner’s way of doing business. I just quietly decide to delete my account and move on to a friendlier atmosphere and carry on with the learning process.
You are not old fashioned at all…. You have honor and integrity in a business environment where incognito lurkers try to tear others down. Stay the course and all will eventually work it’s way around…. Bullies will be winnowed out by evolution… 🙂
Thanks Peter and welcome to TE Land – and am glad that you have had some good experiences. Unfortunately, that is what lot of people do is quietly decide to delete their accounts and these “bullies” should think about that before they go on a rant in a public room
I totally agree. Say something nice or nothing at all. and work problems out privately. It’s really a matter of respect or the lack of.
Thanks Jim and I agree just that simple – should have had you write the blog – you summed it up great 🙂
Nancy,
You hit the nail right on the head. When I first started in TE land I was Dumb. I’ve advanced my knowledge only because of the TE owners and Admins that were willing to give a helping hand. The advice and actually help has advanced my knowledge. I can say some were not as helpful. But the ones that were helpful have become my great TE friends… Those who read this know who your are. We would do anything for each other.. Even though we have never met in person does not diminish the bond we have created. People helping people. This is who we are. A wise man once said “speak and be a fool be silent and see a fool” I could through out quotes and sayings. But the bottom line is we are one here. We need to act the same way. People become intelligent when they learn to be quiet. Conversation in private shows intelligence. Conversation demeaning people in public displays ignorance. I think “Enough said”.
Thanks Robert and love that quote – that is actually one that I had not seen but have added to my collection and thanks for your comment
Love your post, Nancy 🙂 The ‘big shots’ who think they are above one and all and feel the need to boost their egos by bullying someone instead of assisting and teaching will get what karma dishes out, I truly believe in karma, it has been seen by my own 2 eyes numerous times. I myself was bullied within a month of starting in TEs. I chose to delete and block that person from my messenger and learned what I know now mostly on my own and feel better for it. You’ve been one of my biggest inspirations in keeping up with learning what to do/what not to do in TEs and also an inspiration to just never give up…. and now 2014 will be one of my greatest years EVER! If it wasn’t for TEs I wouldn’t have met the person responsible for that 😉
Thanks Bree and am glad that you didn’t give up and sorry you got bullied and I also believe in Karma. I’m so glad that 2014 is going great for you.
I am not saying you are wrong but people are people and people gossip. I was taught that if someone was talking about me they were letting someone else rest.
I am responsible for what I do and how I react to what others do to me, not what they do.
Now do tell… who said what about whom?
I missed it.
Good article Nancy I sometimes look at things a bit different.
Shielda Wheaton
SurfBass
Thanks Shielda for the comment and you are right I have heard that saying also – but it still should not happen in an open chat room – I don’t care what people have done or not done they still have feelings.
Great post Nancy!
I know a lot of TE owners, and TE members who have nothing but the highest respect for you, myself included, and this post shows just one of the reasons why.
Taking the time to think about all the things I could say, I will sum it all up with the following sentence:
By working together we all succeed.
Thanks James for the comment and you are right – love your last sentence.
Hi Nancy,
WOW! You sure said a mouthful today, and I agree with you 150%! I have noted as of writing this post the people that have responded so far. I think bullies are some of the worse kind of people, and I too have experienced bullying. I wrote a paper just recently in school about cyber-bullying, and maybe I will post it on my Blog and share it.
I am very old-school and old-fashioned like you are Nancy, and I think that is a good thing. My parents, especially my Dad, used to teach me all kinds of quotes and things about life and how to treat others. I am not perfect by any means, but I do try very hard to live up to those values, and live my life the way that God says to. I think that is one of the things I like about you so much because you live your life the same way.
Not only do I see a lot of bullying going on in the TE World, but I also see a lot of hypocrites here. A couple of things that really sets my blood boiling are people that think they are better than others and know-it-alls, and people that act all nice to someone and then talk s*^t behind their back.
You are right, you can learn so much about people just by being quiet and idly sitting by watching and listening to what is going on in the different rooms. I do not do a lot of chatting with people, but when I do have a problem I have gone right to the person in private and let them know. I have no problem doing that, and it is the professional way of handling things. It seems that some people have a problem with people that are straight forward and honest though.
I believe we are all here to learn from one another, and help each other as much as we can. I try to help others as much as possible, but I do not try to tell people how to run their own business. We should all be different because God created us all to be different, and you are right – no one has the perfect way of doing things. For those that think they do they are wrong – it is only the right way for THEM! God knows I have made plenty of mistakes since I started in TE’s and I will make more mistakes too. That is how we all learn after all – through our mistakes and then we try to make things better. It is trial and error when running a business, and no one should be condemned by another owner for doing their own thing.
I would like to share a couple of my favorite quotes if I may;
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. ~Malcolm Forbes
Are you not ashamed of heaping up the greatest amount of money and honour and reputation, and caring so little about wisdom and truth and the greatest improvement of the soul? ~Socrates
There is no man so good that if he placed all his actions and thought under the scrutiny of the laws, he would not deserve hanging ten times in his life. ~Michel de Montaigne
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. ~Norman Vincent Peale
Little boldness is needed to assail the opinions and practices of notoriously wicked men; but to rebuke great and good men for their conduct, and to impeach their discernment, is the highest effort of moral courage. ~William Lloyd Garrison
Just my 2 cents worth.
Great post Nancy…Thank you for always being YOU!..and for always being a true friend!
Marilyn Martin
WOW Lady – loved your 2 cents and those quotes were awesome – thanks for sharing and stopping by to comment.
Great Post Nancy… You know if they are gonna bad mouth other owners there is PM or its real easy to create a private room they could go into to say those things …. NOT in a public group room… But BULLIES cant do that … they gotta have an audience to make them feel like they are the “great ones” n know all there is and ever will be in owning a TE… thanks Nancy for standing up and exposing them …..
Thanks Sissy and interesting as I purposely didn’t mention any names or site and yet I have watched the people that have commented on this post and it’s been very interesting.
I think we ALL know who you are talking about beautiful. You can’t wrong as many people as they have and NOT know who we are addressing here.
Well I find it interesting that there are just some that have not said a word on here
And they probably won’t, but trust, the MOMENT “They” are mentioned by name, if you are a member of ANY of their sites, you WILL be deleted. I only posted what they told me and gave my thoughts on their support, and after 3 years of dedicated promotions and building a BUSINESS through them, they deleted all my accounts or suspended them to where I have no access. I think “They” are awaiting an apology from me, cause I’ve hurt their feelings and such, but they might want to go ahead and breath cause I’ve NOTHING to say to any of THEM. I had one of their “team” members follow me on twitter tonight so I’m sure they are well aware of how I feel about them as I’m truly on the war path.
yea that is the best thing – get over the hurdle and move on – life is just too short
Thank you, Nancy. I have been a target of cyber bullying and quit a few years ago. I have re-entered the TE community and have found it has not changed 🙁
Thank you for putting into words the feelings that I have had and bringing to light this terrible problem. It is a shame that we are not all made from the same moral fabric. Enjoying your site more every day and now will read your blog more often too. Again thank you for speaking while so many of us remain silent.
You are welcome and WOW Dawn am so sorry to hear that you have been on the receiving end. I am glad that you made it back to TE Land and hope that your experience it more pleasant this time – there are lot of great site owners out there that are made from the same moral fabric (greatly put – have never heard it stated that way)
well spoken words Nancy – kudos to you
Thanks Fox – have not had a chance to chat with you lately – hope you are doing great and thanks for the comment.
Nancy,
You and I go WAY back. I think you were one of the very first people I actually became friends with in the TE world. I remember when you was “just a surfer” lol. With that said, you are an amazing, insightful woman who I admire and trust.
However, sometimes, you take things into private conversation and you ask questions of these bullies, you beg them to fix their problems, and they are rude and they are unkind or they do things that are beyond wrong. They delete you because you questioned them in the first place. You are booted from their surf because you asked the “wrong” question in chat. Or said one wrong word. This is when I stood up and started talking in public forums. I feel TE/Site owners should be held accountable. And YES, there are growing pains, I get that. YES, we can have script issues, I get that as well. But to use these as excuses to treat your members in a poor manner or to be just flat out RUDE to them, well, that’s inexcusable and that’s when me, the little guy, finds their voice and stands at the top of the mountain and “shouts”, loud and clear, for the entire world to see it.
Just because you’re a “big dog” of the industry, doesn’t give you the right to crap on the little dogs. Those little dogs are the only reason you are around in the first place.
I love you girl. You already know that.
Jenny
Thanks Jenny and yes I was just a surfer – who would ever have thought that I would get to addicted lol
Thanks for the comment and love ya too